This Morning

It reads like some sort of horror story.

First, I took it out of the dark, small Group Chamber of Captivity, where it had been held with its fellows since its capture yesterday afternoon.

Then, I slashed it viciously with a razor sharp, saber shaped tool. Without giving it any time to recover, I immediately put it in a small, enclosed space. This space was surrounded by dozens of electrically charged wires, which carried so much current they were incandescent. Immediately, the temperature in the space soared hundreds of degrees, and the skin and exposed innards immediately started to char.

But before it could be reduced to a charred husk, I removed it from the superheated chamber. I smeared it with a yellow, greasy substance.

And then I took this photo, sat down with a cup of tea, and I ate it for breakfast.

And tomorrow, I'll do it again. There are more bagels in the Group Chamber of Captivity, better known as the breadbox. Yes, we really have a breadbox, in which we really keep bread (and bagels). How big is it? Just about the size of a breadbox.